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the evelator only goes up to ten
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April 11th, 2007 at 7:39pm]
[ mood | scared ]

so i just got my college packet thing in the mail..its just hitting me that im gonna be leaving everybody, i couldnt stop crying. dont get me wrong, i still really wanna go but its just like reality, i cant hop in bed with my mom whenever i want, i cant go and pick up jenn and go to wendys just for the hell of it. its just gonna be a big change. but making it positive im going to be with my friends and family as much as possible.

im reallyreally gonna miss fabian..even though i hate him at times, ive come to find i really do love him, i wanna be with him so bad..when im with him..thats all that matters..just us and no one else..nothing else. i know most of my friends dont like him, but they dont feel like i do when im with him..i sound like the biggest dork so im just gonna stop there.

ugh i cant stop crying fadsflkajf


oh on a lighter note..i dyed my hair..and its like bright red..fuck school =)

02 / ♥ bullets

February 20th, 2007 at 2:14pm]
[ mood | excited ]

i got into Johnson State!!!! =DDDDDD


02 / ♥ bullets

February 12th, 2007 at 8:34pm]
ugh why does it seem when everything is just perfect and you're finally happy of the person youve become and life in general, everything goes wrong? the last week has been hell, my parents wont stop fighting, and dont even ask about me and fabian. i really dont understand what his problem is. and just everything seems to be upsetting me, i cant count how many times ive cried this past week. maybe its the fact that im still not fully over my grandma's death, or what but its annoying. im trying soo hard to be strong and hide this, but it doesnt seem to be working. for those who know of my problem in the past, ive had a relapse, and im just straight up disgusted with myself but its really been the only way ive been able to cope with everything.

the thing with fabian is really the thing thats been hurting the most, and its not because hes my boyfriend and aww hes breaking my heart blahblahblah its more like sudden and his attitude changes for no reason as all, it goes from caring to not caring at all from nicest guy ive ever known to complete asshole. and its like "what am i doing wrong?" or like "oh its probably my fault hes acting this way."

ugh and my mom keeps telling me to get over him and "theres other fish in the sea" but i don't want any "other fish in the sea" i want him. ♥

whatever ill just have to deal with this
01 / ♥ bullets

February 1st, 2007 at 10:59pm]
wow this is really weird, i just found out my grandma died, not Mimi, my real father's mother, i was never close to her but for some reason i just broke down and cried. the wake and funeral are gonna be hard as anything, cause i haven't seen my real father since i was like 5 and my grandma was saying that hes been wanting to see me, but i kept telling my grandma no, now i feel really bad cause its really the only serious thing she asked of me. i dunno, if you knew him you'd feel the same way. so i apologize in advance, cause i prob won't be myself for awhile cause i have this on my mind. all i know is im praying for a snow day cause im really not up for school tomorrow.

wow thats really selfish of me, to have the relationship with my father change my mind about going to my grandma's wake and funeral, i dunno, i just need strength to get through this.

01 / ♥ bullets

April 16th, 2006 at 9:50pm]

Read more...Collapse )
01 / ♥ bullets

October 10th, 2005 at 4:34pm]
alright so i stole this from indeegirl

1.put mp3 on shuffle
2.take the first 20 odd bands..plus one bonus
3.find picture and post
4.no repeats
5.guess the band..no cheating

and go!Collapse )
04 / ♥ bullets

stolen =D [Tuesday
August 9th, 2005 at 12:38am]
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[edit] i fixed it so you could post as anonymous
00 / ♥ bullets

May 7th, 2005 at 1:02pm]
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made by: unsafetypin
028 / ♥ bullets

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